Every day we encounter friends, family, colleagues, acquaintances – even random passersby – who are more than willing to dispense their advice. Often times, we welcome this advice, solicited or not, because we are so grateful to have someone listen to us, commiserate with us, or find a way to relate their experiences to our lives. Life experience is, indeed, a valuable and beautiful thing; and, most importantly, it’s what helps us grow and blossom into empathetic and confident, well-rounded individuals.
But what if this (sometimes unsolicited) advice doesn’t totally resonate with you? If we spend a little quiet time trying to attune ourselves to that persistent (often overlooked) voice inside us, I think we all gain a true sense of our own talents, skills and capacities – and how we can harness these things to create true happiness in ourselves and others. And whether we are willing to fully admit it or not, I believe we all have an ideal vision of what our life would look like IF we actually pursued the seemingly far-fetched scheme we have in mind.
I can think of two vivid moments from my own recent life when someone told me something pertaining to my path, which immediately struck a chord in me that screamed “wrong!” It came from an instinctual, guttural place; and it hit me that what my alleged ‘friend’ was telling me was so completely off kilter, my survival instincts actually kicked in, suggesting listening would be detrimental to me!
The first time was when a former corporate coworker of mine answered my confession of my long-time dream to be a Pilates instructor with, “You and everyone else. Do something sensible, the competition is too steep.” The second time was when a yoga instructor friend of a friend suggested I become a yogi in the process of moving back home to LA, “Because yoga is more popular than Pilates here.” (Ummm: right.)
In both cases, I did the truly ‘sensible thing’ and chose to follow my gut and stick to my Pilates guns. I ultimately listened to my own advice. That advice was intuition: the small voice I mentioned, which can grow ever quieter as the world around us becomes louder, brighter, more sensational, more stressful – less human; less natural. Unless we find a way to honor and nurture that small voice, those outside influences can crush the faith you have in yourself and your dreams.
Fast forward to now: I have an ever-growing list of exceptional clients, who often tell me I’ve found my calling…and add that they wouldn’t have taken to Pilates or exercise overall had they started with another instructor. They give various reasons for this, my favorite being that my sessions are “dancey and fun”. These comments are music to my ears, and make me feel like I have achieved the greatest success I could hope for.
And if that isn’t enough to make my heart sing, the tangible evidence that I made the right choice by venturing off on my own is seeing how many of my friends followed suit, by creating a fitness practice or movement business of their own. I even had one very dear friend ask to meet with me – when I was still mid career transition – in order to glean any insight I could give her on leaving the security of an office job to pursue her dream of working with animals. She did it, by the way, and is currently blissfully enjoying the fruits of her labors. Just as in my case, it was a lot of hard work (an uphill battle) – but I see her contented posts almost every day, and I am so thrilled for her.
What it all boils down to is whether your belief in yourself, your dreams, your desires is more potent than the negative talk your ‘advisers’ are feeding you; whether your desire to have something you intuitively know will make you happy is stronger than the negative punches the ‘naysayers’ throw your way. (You really have to question their motives, to begin with…) Like static that interferes with your favorite song on the radio, the fuzz in your head from these negative comments can prevent you from focusing on your greatest goals, so you can step to the beat you choose. Don’t let it. Figure out who’s emitting negative static into your world – and who’s helping you clarify your positive strengths. Then stick with the people in the latter group.
At the end of the day, we are responsible for creating our own joy. And when we can create joy for ourselves, we can emit that joy to others we encounter – doing our part to make the world a better, happier place to be. Focus in on your goal like a tractor beam and pull it to you. Fight hardest for yourself and your dreams, because deep down you love yourself the most…and that love can enrich the world.